All of us at some point in our lives, and in most cases quite often, have looked for ways to live a happier, healthier, and more emotionally balanced existence. According to the Japanese practice of Naikan, those solutions may be gleaned by asking oneself three simple questions.

The work Naikan (pronounced NIE-KON, like the camera) roughly translates into English as “inside looking”, in other words introspection. The practice of the method of Naikan was developed in the 1940s by a devout Buddhist named Yoshimoto Ishin. As a member of the Jodo Shinshu sect in Japan he had long practiced a complicated and time-consuming form of meditation known as mishirabe. He developed his techniques in order to make its principles more readily understandable to the Western world.

The entire practice revolves around a set of three simple questions. These are:
What have I received from ______?
What have I given to ______?
What troubles and difficulties have I caused ______?

The beauty of these three simple queries is that they encourage us to examine all the relationships in our lives. Whether you are applying the questions to your spouse or the waitress at your local coffee shop, focusing on someone else allows you to take a closer, more realistic look at yourself and a realistic look at your everyday behavior. But let’s look at each of the questions individually to understand better how we can benefit from the wisdom of Naikan.

What have I received from ______?

This first query requires you to look beyond your own troubles and concerns and focus on what you have been given by others in terms of support. According to Naikan practitioners, a very self-centered person has a great deal of trouble with this question initially as they find it hard to consider looking at what goes on around them, outside of their “me” bubble. Considering just how much support you do receive from others gives you a better appreciation for the people around you.

What have I given to ______?

This question often spurs a great deal of guilt in people if they genuinely take the time to answer the question honestly. Realizing that a certain individual has given you a lot and you have given back very little can be jarring to say the least. But the teachings of Naikan view this guilt as a positive emotion as it often serves to spur the individual to want to give back more – to their families, their communities and even the very planet they live on.

What troubles and difficulties have I caused ______?

This last question forces the individual to examine her own impact on the world. It is often considered the hardest of the three to answer as it is not a concept people naturally give much thought to.

Here’s an example: Some jerk cuts you off in traffic, causing you to have to swerve to avoid a collision. You spend the rest of your day telling everyone how some idiot nearly killed you. Reverse the roles though. You weren’t paying attention or you were in a hurry and you cut someone off. You simply shrug it off (maybe mouth a quick sorry as you speed off) but you certainly manage to rationalize your actions.

That is according to Naikan the big problem. People focus their energies on how much trouble others have caused them and little thought as to how their behaviors affect others. The question is therefore not a pretty one to answer honestly, but if you can, the spiritual benefits can be quite profound.

To learn more about the practice of Naikan read Naikan: Gratitude, Grace, and the Japanese Art of Self-Reflection by Gregg Krech (Stone Bridge Press, 2002) and visit http://www.todoinstitute.com.